Top Ten List of Fandom HottnessMay 13, 2018
Top Ten List of Fandom Hottness
By Theresa Bane
This article is going out especially for my fellow lady gamers, geeks, and nerds. I’ve taken it upon myself to make my first Top Ten List of Fandom Hotness. But this list is not just for the chicks. No, the boys can take a lesson from it as well. (HINT: this is what we say we like in our men.)
Now, before I even really get started, let me say that know I left off you’re all time favorite. I, and you, should accept that. But this is my list. You can make your own, but it won’t be as good, or funny, as mine, so recognize and read on.
To begin, I have consulted numerous sources in the research phase of this project, and in doing so realized that there needed to be some sort of criteria by which I had to then be able to fairly weigh and balance my choices.
Rule One: No Limits. That’s right, aside from movie and TV shows, I am including some book and video game characters. I am not ashamed to admit that my first real crush was on Jason from Battle of the Planets.
Rule Two: No actor names. It’s unfair that in movies Antonio Banderas is a hottie, but in real life he’s a gitty acting twit. And how is it possible that the same man who is the silky smooth and dreamy voice of Puss is also the voice of the bee in the Nasonex commercials? There has to be some separation, a line needs to be drawn. And besides, I have no idea what people’s names are. I know Jason Bourne, not the actor’s name, what’s-his-face.
Rule Three: Chatter. There has to be a certain amount of swooning when the name was mentioned to my gal pals. If eyes didn’t roll back, the knees buckle, and a smile slide across their face while saying “Oh Lord” (or there abouts) the guy didn’t make the list.
Rule Four: The cross-section. To be as equitable as possible, and utilizing the resources and the time I had available, I pooled as fairly wide variety of women as I had access to.
Ages: from 22 to 78
Marital Status: Full range – Dating, Engaged, Married, Divorced (one amiable and 2 bitter), and Widowed
Orientation: This is not the Army, I asked. Three “full time” bi’s (their words), one “active” bi-curious (whatever the hell that means), two lesbians, three gay guys; and a clean dozen straight ladies rounding out the group. 21 great minds in total, if my math is right. Confidently, I wouldn’t trust it, add it up again for yourself.
Rule Five: Most important rule of all, each and every one of the ladies whose responses were considered are fans of the genera we love and hold dear. Our fandom maybe be random, but we likes our men.
But just to get you warmed up, here is a list entitled “Also Ran.” There were probably 100 of them at the start, but I wittled it down allowing for time ans space. Again, if your imaginary boyfriend didn’t make the list, e-me his stats and he’ll be eligible for my next list of Fandom Hotness. So, without further ado, here is but a sampling of fine men who for what ever reasons 21 chicks could not unanimously agree on their making the top 10:
Angel (David Boreanaz) from the TV shows Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen)from the movie Lord of the Rings
Boromir (Sean Bean) from the movie Lord of the Rings
Davey Rice from the novels and the movie Jumper (Hayden Christensen)
Dr. Yuri Zhivago from the movie Dr. Zhivago (Omar Sharif)
Hector from the movie Troy (Eric Bana)
Henry”Indiana” Jones from the Indian Jones movie franchise (Harrison Ford)
J.D. of the movie Thelma and Louise (Brad Pitt)
James Bond from the movie Casino Royal (Daniel Craig)
Jason Bourne from novels and movie franchise (Matt Damion)
King Leonidas from the graphic novel and the movie 300 (Gerard Butler)
Kit “the Phantom” Walker from the movie The Phantom (Billy Zane)
Lando from the movie Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (Billy Dee Williams)
Logan, aka Wolverine of comic book, cartoon, video game, and the X-Men movie franchise (Hugh Jackman)
Nathaniel “Hawkeye” Poe from the movie Last of the Mohicans (Daniel Day Lewis)
Nick Freeman from the movie Silver Dream Racer (David Essex)
Odysseus from the made for TV movie The Odyssey (Armand Assante)
OZ from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Seth Green)
Private Trip from the movie Glory (Denzel Washington)
Riley from the movie Land of the Dead (Simon Baker)
Robert “Rob” Roy Mac Greggeror from the movie Rob Roy (Liam Neeson
Sir William Thatcher, aka Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein of Gelderland from the movie A Knight’s Tale (Heath Ledger)
Sky Captain from the movie Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (Jude Law)
Uncas, from the movie Last of the Mohicans (Eric Schweig)
Wesley, aka The Dread Pirate Roberts from the book and movie The Princess Bride (Cary Elwes)
Winchester Brothers, Sam and Dean from the TV show Supernatural (Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles)
Now that you saw who didn’t make the list, here are the actual winners, those lucky hot dogs who made it to the list entitled:
Top Ten List of Fandom Hotness
10. Lacroix, from the Forever Knight TV series (Nigel Bennett). He was our first look at a real platinum blond vampire, and honestly, who has done it better since? He was a devilish cad, unreliable, unpredictable, and was down right evil. But we ladies love his velvety smooth voice that he used at his job as a radio disk jockey to send threats, bits of advice, or the occasional warning out to whomever was listening. Viva Lacroix!
9. Richard D. Riddick, from the books, cartoon, video games, and the movies (Vin Disel). The bald bad boy we love no matter how he’s presented to us! Is there any media that this hunk of “dare not to love me or you’ll get hurt like all the rest” has not yet conquered? He’s got a rock hard body and a deep, sexy, gravely voice. He is a man seeking only his personal freedom, but never at the cost of others. He is alone and the last of his kind, but unwilling to wallow in his sadness or accept your pity. He fears nothing and will press on no matter the danger involved. Good to have as a friend, no where is safe if he’s you’re enemy. Bonus Points, actor Vin Disel is a die hard, old school, traditional pen and paper gamer.
8. Raistlin, from the Dragonlance book series and recently of an adequate animated for straight to DVD movie. As a traveling companion, he was not the best, preferring to be alone and read his spell book rather than converse at the nightly camp fire. His temperament ran hot and cold and he was always quick to point out the flaws in everything. His health was chronically poor and he was not able to travel fast, force march, or fight long. But he was awfully powerful and worth getting to know if you could hack your way to his heart. He was devoted to his brothers and went above and beyond for their sake. Unlike Elrick, Raistlin is a keeper. Sadly, authors Wise and Hickman will not ever bring our dearly beloved back to life, but we can always dream and hope the economy turns in such a way that they really need the money.
7. Richard “Rick” O’Connell of the Mummy movie franchise (Brandon Fraiser). A die hard adventurer with a tuff as nails exterior, Rick has a soft, romantic, gooie center. He has a boyish face and starlight in his smile. He takes to pressure in a realistic and prudent fashion, screaming while empting his clip at the problem or charging it blindly with a slashing sword. Rick’s basically not a criminal, although he has committed a few questionalbe acts. However, once he’s committed to a mission, he’s locked on target until the job is finished. From lovable scamp, to devoted husband, to protective father, Rick O’Connell is a win win deal!
6. Ahmad ibn Fadlan ibn al-Abbas ibn Rashid ibn Hamad, or plain old “Ibn” to his newfound Viking companions, this dark eyed Arab Scholar is top drawer (Antonio Banderas). He was a poet by profession who was banished from the woman he loved only to find himself taking part in a very real and very dangerous adventure. He is among people he cannot relate to, customs he cannot understand, barely speaking a language he is forced to learn-all this in a land completely unlike any he has ever traveled to. Although the book (Eater’s of the Flesh) is wonderful in its own right, seeing our leading man up there on the big screen (13th Warrior), struggling through adversity and making his own way against the odds adhears his gentle and vulnerable soul to us all the more.
5. Roy Batty, from the movie Blade Runner and the book Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? (Rutger Hauer) He was young, platinum blond, cleanly bare cheated, and so full of heat and desire and a lust for life that nothing was going to hold him back. He cared deeply for his girl, Pris, and wanted for his kind, replicates, what everyone wants: a chance to live. He was a freedom fighter, and like so many others, died for what he believed in. But he knew that going into it, didn’t he?
4. Tyr Anasazi, from the TV show Gene Rodenberry’s: Andromada (Keith Hamilton Cobb). O.M.G. “Hot” does not even begin to cover it. He’s stoic, passionate, a brooder, and has a set of powerfully built arms that wouldn’t hug you so much as they they would envelope your quivering body. Mmmmmm.
3. Spike, from the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer (James Marsters). Josh Wheaton did “dark” justice. He is quite brilliant really in dishing out the pain on the characters you love. Spike has had more than his fair share of pain and heart ache. A poet and doting mamma’s boy in life, poor William became “William the Bloody” when he became a vampire, and then later earned himself the nickname “Spike.” He’s got a tapered British accent, swept back platinum blond hair, devilish green eyes, and a smirk more than a smile when he flashes his pearly whites. Spike was a work in progress, a tried and true original bad guy who over the course of years became not only a trusted friend and allie but lover to the very woman otherwise sworn to destroy his kind. He is the living example that the bad boy can change and still maintain his bad ass status. Even when left cold by the woman he loved, the very same woman he set out to be a better man for, he stood his ground, did not slink back into his past, but rather rose above it all and became a better person for it.
2. Leon Scott Kennedy, of Resident Evil 2 and Resident Evil 4, video games. This dreamy, perfectly drawn hunk was just short of becoming the unanimous hands down favorite. Poor, lovely Leon he doesn’t get the chance to speak often in this first person shooter, but his voice is as intimate as the russle of bedsheets. In RE: 2 he has just joind the Raccoon City’s Police Department. It’s his first day on the job and moments after he clock’s in there is an infectious zombi breakout that goes from bad to worse rather quickly. Later in RE: 4 Leon returns as a hardened veteran government agent now working in a top secret, high paying, government position. First day on this job he is sent off to rescue the Presiden’t daughter who was last seen in some remote Latavian country. And son-of-a-gun, wouldn’t ya know it, zombies and worse are roaming the hills here too. Fortunatly Leon is nothing if not driven, committed, and working off an endless reserve of endurance. Makes you wonder exactly how unlimitless that endurance of his his really is.
And finally, the Hottest of the Hot, the most Desirable and Wanted Man in all of Fandom is:
1. Thomas Wraith, of the Dresden Files series of books. Thomas started off as a walk on character who worked his way into the hearts of the fans of the books. These days Thomas is now about as popular as the main character, Harry Dresden. Thomas is a Vampire of the White Court, or more basically, an Incubus. But rather than gaining his sustenance off of hapless victims he mindlessly pleasures to death, he’s responsible. See, Thomas is in love with a woman he cannot be with and yet remains faithful too. Rather than draining woman after woman dry of their life giving essences through acts of mind bending passion, he takes just a nip here and there as a hairdresser where he is known as the eccentric, lovable gay Frenchman, Toe’mass. When not washing women’s hair or LARPing as a vampire in a vampire LARP, Thomas is out with brother Harry Dresden thwarting the forces of evil. And when not battling back the encroaching tied of darkness with Harry, he’s out on his own, fighting in a Shadow War against a whole ‘nuther layer of evil. An upcoming novella explains all and hopefully it will be the catalyst for an upcoming spin-off of his own book series. (Let’s get that letter writing campaign started ladies!)
Well, that’s it, my Top Ten Picks of Fandom Hotness. I have noticed a startling trend in what we fan girls go for – the Vampiric, Byronic Action Hero, basically blond, nicely muscled, a little dangerous, but in the end devoted to his lady love.
Theresa Bane – qtr – T
Vampirologist & Buzzy Multimedia Columnist
http://www.buzzymultimedia.com – Buzzy Multimedia
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